Now we have seven families represented by fourteen people. Our prayers will be mighty tonight, praise God.”“Praise God,” the congregation echoed.“I am called The Deacon. No one here uses their everyday name. This is a special meeting of true believers in God’s grace. We believe, as did the first century Christians, that nothing is wrong as long as it hurts no one and is done in true love. Our freedom, eroded by centuries of dogma, is the liberty of the Law of Love.“We all go to regular Fundamentalist churches because Fundamentalism is about all there is in Oklahoma. But this is our true place of worship. Here we thank God for the gift of our bodies. Here we live as we were created to live in shameless Eden.”At that, everyone stood. I’d only been to church once or twice in my life, but I remembered they were big about everybody doing everything together, standing together, sitting together, singing together. I stood. Then everyone started taking their clothes off. It was quiet,. ‘Why did I do that?’ When they’d left Sharon’s house to pick up the repair parts, he had every intention of returning to replace the ball cock and be done. However, he couldn’t face her after that… assault? ‘What-the-hell was that? Oh yeah, my Respectful Employee training called it SEXUAL HARASSMENT, so much for my high moral standards. The first woman that flirts with me, I verbally rape! She must think I’m crazy, or a pervert, a crazy pervert! But she started it, didn’t she? Damn it, so what. She didn’t ask to get pushed against the wall and humiliated. I stepped so far over the line I was in another state — an altered state. That’s it! That’s my plea. Judge, I need counseling. My toilet fetish drove me mad. May God have mercy on my sewer soul.’ ‘… DAD!’ Chris’s splash finally rained through his clouded thoughts. ‘Yeah, Chris, what’s up?’ ‘You know those dinosaurs that use their heads to ram into other dinosaurs?’ Dads know everything when you’re seven, and Sam cherished this.
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